LIMERICKS ALIVE!!

This is my collection of favorite math limericks. I hope you enjoy them. They were found at different times from different places and merely copied in a notebook, so the sources have been lost.

If you have a limerick -- about math, of course -- that is not found below, please send it to me via e-mail. I will include it on this page, giving you credit for the submission, naturally. :-)

```
1.	An algebra teacher named Drew
Tried to find the .
He found it between
1/4 and 14,
But couldn't get closer.  Can you?

2.	There was an old man who said, "Do
Tell me how I should add two and two.
I think more and more
That it makes about four --
But I fear that is almost too few."

3.	There was a young lady called Kate,
Whose maths was right up-to-date.
She said, "It is fun
When three 3's are one --
Which they are with modulo 8."

4.	Little Jack Horner sat in a corner,
Trying to evaluate .
He disclaimed rule of thumb,
Found an infinite sum,
And exclaimed "It's REAL, nary an i."

5.	A mathematician named Ray
Says extraction of roots is child's play.
You don't need equations
Or long calculations;
Just hot water to run on the tray.

6.	Said Mrs. Isosceles Tri,
"That I'm sharp I've no wish to deny;
But I do not dare
To be perfectly square --
I'm sure if I did I should die!"

7.	An arithmetic teacher named Jones
Was reduced by the new math to groans,
And shortly expired.
Since he has not retired,
He now serves as Napier's Bones.

8.	A mathematician confided
That a Moebius band is one-sided.
And you'll get quite a laugh
If you cut one in half,
For it stays in one piece when divided.

9.	A graduate student at Trinity
Computed the square of infinity.
But it gave him the fidgets
To put down the digits,
So he dropped math and took up divinity.

10.	A mathematician from Boole,
Used to mispronounce words like a fool.
He spoke of "stastistics",
And "intragel" ballistics,
"Yuler" circles and "Hospital's" rule.

11.	There was a young student from Rye,
Who worked out the value of .
"It happens," said he,
"That it's just over 3,
Though I'd rather you don't ask me why."

12.	There was a young student from Crewe
Who learned how to count in base 2.
His sums were all done
With 0 and 1,
And he found it much simpler to do.

13.	There was a young fellow called Dan,
Who knew all about sin, cos and tan.
He talked rather big
Of his knowledge of trig --
He did seem a clever young man.

14.	A mondern young lady called Rita,
Buys ribbons and cloth by the metre.
She gets bacon and ham
Weighed out by the gram,
And orders her milk by the litre.

15.	There was a maths student called Hector,
Who couldn't tell scalar from vector.
"I'm quite at a loss
To tell a dot from a cross --
I ought not to work in this sector."

16.	If inside a circle a line
Hits the center and goes from spine to spine
And the line's length is "d",
The circumference will be
d times 3.14159.

17.	A Dozen, a Gross, and a Score,
plus three times the square root of four,
divided by seven,
plus five times eleven,
equals nine squared and not a bit more.
-- Jon Saxton

18.	'Tis a favorite project of mine
A new value of pi to assign.
I would fix it at 3
For it's simpler, you see,
Than 3 point 1 4 1 5 9.
-- Harvey L. Carter

19.	There was a young man named Floogle,
Who tried to count up to a googol.
But it took such a long time
That one day he cried, "I'm
Now known as the Old Man Floogle.
-- Terry Trotter

20.	There once was a woman from Dundee,
Whose age had last digit three.
If her whole age reversed
Is the square of the first (digit),
Then what must the woman's age be?
-- (Contributed by Pat Vennebush,
MATHCOUNTS Program)

21.            My Poem

There once was a number named pi
Who frequently liked to get high.
All he did every day
Was sit in his room and play
With his imaginary friend named i.

There once was a number named e
Who took way too much LSD.
She thought she was great.
But that fact we must debate;
We know she wasn't greater than 3.

There once was a log named Ln
Whose life was devoted to sin.
She came from a tree
Whose base was shaped like an e.
She's the most natural log I've seen.

22.       A Pi Lymeric

There once was a number Pi
Very special like e and phi
Circumference to d
Is the ratio for me
And it's not a multiple of i
---Liz Landau

Visit Liz's great website about Pi.

23.      There was a Young Lady from Bath,
In love she was -and deeply- with Math;
She married a Fraction,
But died of Subtraction,
That algebraic Young Lady from Bath.
--Paolo Trabucchi

24.      A "cubit" in old Pharoah's land
Was TWENTY-EIGHT "digits", and spanned
From elbow to finger
Does this measure linger?
No, it's too crude, it's been canned

--Andy Stanton

25.    A limerick in honor of mathematician Paul Erdös (rhymes with Kurdish)

A conjecture both deep and profound
Is whether the circle is round.
In a paper of Erdös
Written in Kurdish
A counterexample is found.

26.   There was a young lady named Bright
whose speed was much greater than light.
So she set out one day,
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.

(Contributed by Philip Hunt)

27.   The system which we use is decimal,
But the ancient Mayans used vigesimal.
Base TWENTY, not ten
Was what suited them then.
Tell that to your friends and impress 'em all!

---A. Stanton

28.   The "long hundred" once signified plenty:
It meant more than the standard "short" century
Base TWELVE was the count
Which increased the amount;
TWELVE times ten gives one hundred and twenty

---A. Stanton
29.   Integral z-squared dz
from 1 to the cube root of 3
times the cosine
of three pi over 9
equals log of the cube root of 'e'.

---Betsy Devine and Joel E. Cohen

in Absolute Zero Gravity, Simon and Schuster, 1992, p.37.

30.   Archimedes, the well known truth-seeker,
Jumping out of his bath, cried, "Eureka!"
He ran half a mile,
Wearing only a smile,
And became the very first streaker.

--found on the internet

31.   There once was a student in school,
Who couldn't do math as a rule,
He worked at it a lot,
And now he's no longer a fool.

--Meryl Altabet

32,  When you cut Apollonius' cone
There's a circle, but it's not alone.
A parabola, new,
A hyperbola, too,
And a perfect ellipse will be shown.

---found in The Gnarly Gnews, by Montgomery Phister, Jr.

```

While this next poem is not a limerick, it nonetheless is one of my personal favorites. So I will present it here.

```	Fiddle de dum, fiddle de dee,
A ring around the moon is  times d;
But if a hole you want repaired,
You use the formula r2.
```
Here's another non-limerick poem, but still a clever example of math ideas presented poetically.

```	Little Miss Bottenoose
Squared the
hypotenuse,
certain that she would
gain fame.
Each leg did she square,
And cried out "The
results are the
same!"

--Middle School Mathematics, Prentiss Hall, Book 3, p. 138.

Try this one out...

"Cosine, secant, tangent, sine
3.14159
slipstick, slide rule,
MIT!"
--Massachusetts Institute of Technology football cheer

```